You're good! For now.

This week's appointment was Wednesday, but I've been non-stop running around this week. That's why this blog is courtesy of 6AM, Completed Chores, COFFEE!, and a quiet house with kids sleeping.

I went into this week's appointment expecting to go over the homework of how I would deal with Procrastination.  I may have written the homework a mere hours before the appointment. 

But we didn't talk about that.

Instead we just Talked.  My interests, my hobbies..  What are my stress relievers, my go-tos.  How is my circle of friends doing?  How's the foundation?


Turns out, she also crochets, which is nice.  We shared pictures, talked about the kids, etc..

"You're good, for now." She says.

What?  I'm okay?  ME?  There was a good hearty laugh.


My stress levels are currently at a low.  I'm managing my anxiety and depression.  Apparently, I'm at DEFCON LOW or GREEN, or something?

 

Well, maybe Guarded is a better option.  DEFCON Guarded.   Sounds like a good stance for me.

I don't need to see her for 2 weeks this time.  I'm honestly not sure how I feel about that.  I've come to really enjoy these sessions.  Having someone make me focus on me instead of the trillion other things going through my head.   And if I would start to change the focus, she'd bring me back.

Not everything or everyone in life is under my control.  The only person under my control is Me.  I have to be responsible for me first before anything else.  If I am good, if my foundation is good, then I can be that person for others.  The stronger my foundation is, the more I can take on.  Because I'm strong.

Interestingly enough (and maybe you know me, or maybe I've said this part before), I'm great most of the time.  I can take on the world.  I can be the most loyal of friends, the big mama bear for my kids, the pillar that holds everything up.  I can be that. 

I am that.  

But there are things that I have been dealing with that have just disrupted everything.  Cracks in the foundation.  A few little problems, a few little (big) things, and my whole structure, my whole core has weakened.

These sessions are helping me patch and fix all those cracks.  It isn't like we can just put a band-aid on things and be done with it.  Some parts need to be completely demolished the rest of the way and rebuilt.

Hmm.  Writing that out actually makes it make even more sense to me.  I'm not going through a crisis.  I'm going through a REMODEL!

This needs to be a new code word. 

How are you doing?

Great, I'm remodeling...

Anyone else remodeling? Remodeling works so much better when you have friends there to help share the work load.  Those friends who would drop everything for you and give you their greatest gift - TIME.  Those are the ones you need to ask. 

You should try that if you haven't already.   A few great friends are worth more than 100s of random friends and acquaintances..

My next appointment is the week before Nerdtacular.  I'll try and get a blog post in next week anyway and check in.

Until then..

Saisri

Calling it what it is..

It's a new week and a new post!  Another therapy session behind me.

Today we caught up on life over the past week. Living day by day and week by week is an interesting experience after going, going, going and realizing you've lost track of time again and it's 6 months later.

We caught up on last week's homework.  Things I'd like to change.  I made a list of 6 things that I would change, mostly all related to each other.  And from that list will be next week's assignment, to choose one and look at it from 3 months into the future to discuss how I solved the problem or made the change.

The one I chose to write about for next week is Procrastination.  I haven't written anything yet, but I have ideas already.

The point of this exercise is to view something from the desired end result, and figure out what you needed to do to get there.  But when you write it, you wrote it as if you have already done it and you're looking back. It's to give another perspective on solving a particular issue.  I purposely (and sheepishly) chose an easier one on my list this time, so that my first time doing this wouldn't be tackling the one I have no idea.  She knowingly told me that we'd be tackling it eventually, so this strategy was fine.

We also talked about calling things what they are, and how people don't always know how to put names to what they are experiencing until someone else says the name.

For example, some people who drink too much may not see it as a problem until someone else points it out to them and calls it what it is, Alcoholism. (and even then, they may not see it.)

DISCLAIMER! I'm not being seen for Alcoholism :P   I'm keeping my specifics out of it as usual. My issues are all related to my depression, but the scenario fit what I was trying to say.


Anyway, when someone tells you that you have an issue, before automatically firing back, find yourself a legit brochure or LEGIT website (Stay off the WEBMD, people! Otherwise, you'll be living Oregon trail and having to lose Uncle Jim to Influenza and little Danny to the measles! Think about it! ;) )

What is a legit place to get literature?  Look for actual organizations..  If you want to know about cancer, go to the American Cancer Society for a starting place.  If Aunt Edna has a drinking problem, look at AA's site.  If you have depression, like me!, personally I'd start with the NIH's site.

When you are looking up conditions or disease state, you shouldn't be trying to self-diagnosis. THAT has to come from your doctor.  But you can educate yourself once you have a diagnosis by sticking to LEGIT websites, and not those that are likely to send you into a panic. 

Until next week..  Be well, ask for help when you need it, and accept it when it's offered in good faith.