It takes a lot to get me riled up over something. I am not quick to anger or easy to jump to conclusions. I weigh facts, use personal experience and make the most educated decision as possible.
This past week was decidedly marked with problems. Some were those of a friend, some were my own.
Those of my friend were broadcast for the world to see. Open to anyone who wished to view them and make an opinion. Available for anyone to weigh in. Weigh in, I did. There are a lot of times when bad things happen to good people. Our society doesn't have an answer for every type of scenario, and it is often left for a grouping of things to be lumped together and treated the same. After reading what he had to say and wholeheartedly believing him, I felt this friend was in need of seeing that he still had friends on his side. I did take to twitter, and tried to share my opinion as eloquently as I could. There were a lot of people who agreed with me, and I was happy to see it.
There were a few who were a little surprised at how quickly I came to bat for this friend and how strongly my opinion came across.
What can I say? I'm a passionate person.
Confession - I'm downright a lion at heart when it comes to defending friends and family.
I'm usually a closed up person. I have a ton of walls and twice as many layers. I let people get close to me, but I don't normally strip back all the layers and let people in completely. My fellow FERT raiders are family to me. I've had the pleasure of meeting and becoming good friends with several of them here in the real life. ;)
My team gets to see a part of me that most people don't. I am relaxed. I have fun. I rarely hold back and I get to be my actual self. It's a fantastic feeling. Everyone should have that luxury. The ones that know me in person get to see even more.
It isn't that I try to keep people out or that I try to hide behind these walls, but it is hard for me to let people in. But once you take the time to work through those layers, what you find is the most loyal of friends. Not afraid of a fight. Not willing to back down in defense of a friend. The kind of friend who sticks by you no matter what.
So it surprised some when I took a strong stance. And I stand by that stance and that decision. I made the right decision as far as I'm concerned. I think even my friend might have been a little surprised. Haha
One other side effect that came out of all of this, was the lowering of a few more layers around my friends. They (whether they wanted to or not) got to see a bit more of the side of me that I usually keep very private. While I still won't discuss it all in a blog, there were emotions and stress and such that were shared and part of me is sorry. Part of me is happy that I have friends to be able to share these things with.
I've known the majority of my team for about a year now. There are friends who have known me for 10 that have only gotten a bit more of the story that the FERTers did.
I guess there are a couple of points to all these ramblings.
Everyone has a deep, dark closet. Some people have bigger skeletons, some people have smaller ones. Some people only have one, some people have many.
Everyone has a past. The present and the future are what should matter. Hindsight is 20/20. It's easy to say what should have or could have happened after the fact. Our past doesn't decide who we are, but how we learn and grow from our past does.
When you are talking about a person, whether you know them in person or not, be respectful. Pixels or flesh, we are all real people with real thoughts, opinions and feelings. Treat people how you want to be treated.
And just because some people can be quiet.. maybe they don't talk to you directly a lot.. maybe they don't often weigh in on your question or thought or comment.. It doesn't mean that they don't consider you their friend. Sometimes it's just easier to open up to some people than others.
Maybe more people should open up a conversation with, "Hello, friend(s)!"
Wednesday, September 24, 2014
Wednesday, August 13, 2014
An Open Letter to the Late Robin Williams (or anyone suffering with depression)
Dear Robin,
I never got to meet you, but I have watched you on screen for nearly 40 years. You made countless people laugh, cry, or most often times, both at the same time. The whole world knew of you, but only a small percentage actually knew you.
You and I, we have some things in common. We are both known for our characters, the roles that we choose to play. You of course were on screen, bringing countless characters to life. I, on the other hand, have been known for the better part of 15 years by the characters that I choose to play in various online communities.
That is another thing that we share in common: our love of video games. There is nothing quite like having the ability to immerse yourself into another world and forget your troubles for a while. There is nothing like being just one in the crowd, like everyone else, having just enough anonymity to be yourself without the world knowing your name. World of Warcraft was just one of those worlds, and the online community mourns your passing.
We have another thing in common together, and it's even bigger than our love of video games. Depression. It is a difficult word to put in writing sometimes. It is a word that carries stigmas and judgements. It is a word that labels us, tries to define us, and changes how the world perceives us.
There is something you have to watch out for though, when you have a combination of video games and Depression. You can surround yourself with people, sometimes the very best of people, and still manage to feel alone. There are days where I log into one of the biggest guilds in WoW, and I can feel more alone than if 10 people were online and having a conversation. It can be way too easy to find yourself lost in the crowd, a faceless, voiceless set of pixels. You have to actively fight that, though. You have to fight to be heard, and sometimes the person you have to fight the most with is yourself.
There was a joke I saw once: "I came to a decision, but it wasn't unanimous." The joke refers to the voice, or voices, in your head that guides you. Those of us that have depression know those voices well. The ones that try and convince us to give up. The ones that try to tell us that no one out there cares, that no one out there is there for us.
The voices are wrong, though. They always are. It's hard to push them away. I get it. I think the only reason I get everything in my head to balance most days is because I try to be the most logical optimist possible. Logical Optimist, heh.. It's almost an oxymoron, but it works for me. I try to be optimistic, but in the most realistic sort of way. I also try to manage my stress as best as I can. Stress can not only trigger my migraines (which I manage rather well), but it can send me spiraling out of control if I let it.
But please don't think that I manage it all just fine every day. I most certainly don't. When I heard the news about you on Monday, it hit me really hard. And when that was layered with a lot of stresses that I'm already dealing with? The depression was really close to hitting hard by Monday night. I got through it. Okay, barely. But I managed to skirt the worst of it, I think.
Depression hurts. So much of it is internal, often times unable to be detected by those around you. There will always be some who can see it, who can read what you hide behind your eyes. Everyone should have at least one of that kind of friend or relative. The person who sees you for who you are, no matter how high you build your walls to keep the outside from seeing the feelings you hide.
It is sometimes hard to find that right kind of person that you need in your life. It is all too easy to surround yourself with the ones who make everything in life about themselves. There's no worse feeling about depression (that I've experienced) than hitting that dark place, and having people around you make it about them. I resorted to allowing my doctor to prescribe me help two different times over the course of the last 12 years or so. I was actually made to feel guilty that needed to be taking something. It was easier for me to cope without it, than to be on it plus the guilt. And the guilt was not from myself, mind you. It was from other people. I am working on weeding the garden of people in my life, if you will. I've already pulled some difficult weeds, and I'm continuing to do so.
No one that has depression needs to ever feel alone. You have to learn how to remove a wall, remove one of your layers that you wrap yourself up in so that you can let someone in. Depression isn't something you can manage on your own. It does start with you, though. You have to acknowledge it, accept it, and be willing to face it head on in order to move past it, or to even just get through it.
I can't begin to imagine the pain you must have felt at the end. You'll have to forgive me if I don't want to. You see, I've often said to others, "The moment I begin to understand why a person does a particular thing, it means I'm thinking like them." I usually attribute that sentiment towards criminals and despicable human beings, but I can see now it also can pertain to suicide. I don't have a desire to walk down that dark road alone, to decipher what you must have been thinking.
What I do know is that while you were a light in the world to so many while you were alive in this crazy world with us, you've now become a light in the dark to people to reach for now that you're gone. You've helped bring the subject of depression, and mental health in general for that matter, back to the front of the stage. Your passing has given a voice to so many. I don't know that it was your intent, but even in death, you are helping those around you, around the world!
As sad as I am at your passing, I acknowledge your pain, but I will not disservice you by remembering you by it, as the guy who passed because he was depressed. I want to think of you as the man who lived his life to the fullest, who enjoyed making people laugh.
I'd rather remember you laughing, anyway.
Sincerely,
Kelly
AKA:
Saisri - WoW: Earthen Ring
Previously known as:
Katissa - WoW: Hellscream
Katinka, Brissen, Brissy - Everquest: The Rathe
and a host of other names and games.
Do you need help with your depression? Are you contemplating suicide? Reach out to someone who can and wants to help you. Everyone is deserving of help. You just have to ask for it.
www.suicidepreventionlifeline.org/
I never got to meet you, but I have watched you on screen for nearly 40 years. You made countless people laugh, cry, or most often times, both at the same time. The whole world knew of you, but only a small percentage actually knew you.
You and I, we have some things in common. We are both known for our characters, the roles that we choose to play. You of course were on screen, bringing countless characters to life. I, on the other hand, have been known for the better part of 15 years by the characters that I choose to play in various online communities.
That is another thing that we share in common: our love of video games. There is nothing quite like having the ability to immerse yourself into another world and forget your troubles for a while. There is nothing like being just one in the crowd, like everyone else, having just enough anonymity to be yourself without the world knowing your name. World of Warcraft was just one of those worlds, and the online community mourns your passing.
We have another thing in common together, and it's even bigger than our love of video games. Depression. It is a difficult word to put in writing sometimes. It is a word that carries stigmas and judgements. It is a word that labels us, tries to define us, and changes how the world perceives us.
There is something you have to watch out for though, when you have a combination of video games and Depression. You can surround yourself with people, sometimes the very best of people, and still manage to feel alone. There are days where I log into one of the biggest guilds in WoW, and I can feel more alone than if 10 people were online and having a conversation. It can be way too easy to find yourself lost in the crowd, a faceless, voiceless set of pixels. You have to actively fight that, though. You have to fight to be heard, and sometimes the person you have to fight the most with is yourself.
There was a joke I saw once: "I came to a decision, but it wasn't unanimous." The joke refers to the voice, or voices, in your head that guides you. Those of us that have depression know those voices well. The ones that try and convince us to give up. The ones that try to tell us that no one out there cares, that no one out there is there for us.
The voices are wrong, though. They always are. It's hard to push them away. I get it. I think the only reason I get everything in my head to balance most days is because I try to be the most logical optimist possible. Logical Optimist, heh.. It's almost an oxymoron, but it works for me. I try to be optimistic, but in the most realistic sort of way. I also try to manage my stress as best as I can. Stress can not only trigger my migraines (which I manage rather well), but it can send me spiraling out of control if I let it.
But please don't think that I manage it all just fine every day. I most certainly don't. When I heard the news about you on Monday, it hit me really hard. And when that was layered with a lot of stresses that I'm already dealing with? The depression was really close to hitting hard by Monday night. I got through it. Okay, barely. But I managed to skirt the worst of it, I think.
Depression hurts. So much of it is internal, often times unable to be detected by those around you. There will always be some who can see it, who can read what you hide behind your eyes. Everyone should have at least one of that kind of friend or relative. The person who sees you for who you are, no matter how high you build your walls to keep the outside from seeing the feelings you hide.
It is sometimes hard to find that right kind of person that you need in your life. It is all too easy to surround yourself with the ones who make everything in life about themselves. There's no worse feeling about depression (that I've experienced) than hitting that dark place, and having people around you make it about them. I resorted to allowing my doctor to prescribe me help two different times over the course of the last 12 years or so. I was actually made to feel guilty that needed to be taking something. It was easier for me to cope without it, than to be on it plus the guilt. And the guilt was not from myself, mind you. It was from other people. I am working on weeding the garden of people in my life, if you will. I've already pulled some difficult weeds, and I'm continuing to do so.
No one that has depression needs to ever feel alone. You have to learn how to remove a wall, remove one of your layers that you wrap yourself up in so that you can let someone in. Depression isn't something you can manage on your own. It does start with you, though. You have to acknowledge it, accept it, and be willing to face it head on in order to move past it, or to even just get through it.
I can't begin to imagine the pain you must have felt at the end. You'll have to forgive me if I don't want to. You see, I've often said to others, "The moment I begin to understand why a person does a particular thing, it means I'm thinking like them." I usually attribute that sentiment towards criminals and despicable human beings, but I can see now it also can pertain to suicide. I don't have a desire to walk down that dark road alone, to decipher what you must have been thinking.
What I do know is that while you were a light in the world to so many while you were alive in this crazy world with us, you've now become a light in the dark to people to reach for now that you're gone. You've helped bring the subject of depression, and mental health in general for that matter, back to the front of the stage. Your passing has given a voice to so many. I don't know that it was your intent, but even in death, you are helping those around you, around the world!
As sad as I am at your passing, I acknowledge your pain, but I will not disservice you by remembering you by it, as the guy who passed because he was depressed. I want to think of you as the man who lived his life to the fullest, who enjoyed making people laugh.
I'd rather remember you laughing, anyway.
Sincerely,
Kelly
AKA:
Saisri - WoW: Earthen Ring
Previously known as:
Katissa - WoW: Hellscream
Katinka, Brissen, Brissy - Everquest: The Rathe
and a host of other names and games.
Do you need help with your depression? Are you contemplating suicide? Reach out to someone who can and wants to help you. Everyone is deserving of help. You just have to ask for it.
| Need help? In the U.S., call 1-800-273-8255 |
| National Suicide Prevention Lifeline |
www.suicidepreventionlifeline.org/
Friday, April 25, 2014
Off the beaten track... into the Real World we go
I'm going to start out by saying, this is not a game related post.. Its more of a rant and a WTH is wrong with you, society? It is my opinion. It is my strong opinion. The only request I have is that when you're done reading it, that no ones tries to make it political or about gun control, cause if you do, you've missed my point entirely.
That's my disclaimer. And what a way to jump back into my blog!
I was reading the news this morning. It is something I do almost every day. I like to know current events and what is going on in the world outside my own little world. And more often than not, there is some horrible story of violence or death or something that is just simply not okay. But when that story involves kids, it just brings on a whole new meaning and whole different kind of questioning.
Parents out there, WTH?
The first story this morning that I read is this article out of Connecticut. Apparently a boy asked a girl to prom. She said no. So boy stabs girl.
WHAT?
What have we been doing to our kids in today's society. In a world where kids all get trophies and everyone gets a prize, we are teaching our kids to always expect something. It is preventing our kids from learning about disappointment and how to deal with that.
What went through this boy's mind this morning? Could he really not take the disappointment of being rejected by a girl for prom? Even if this was extremely disappointing, what makes him suddenly think that if she won't go with him, he must stab her? I don't understand how the normal is becoming violence in our schools.
Remember when we just had to worry about Violence in the Workplace? Now, we have to worry about our kids going off the handle at school. Don't get me wrong, I'm not talking about bullying and the effects that it has on kids. I will say, that parents could be helping their children more by talking to them early about how to deal with bullies, about their self-worth and self-confidence and help build our children up properly so that they can't be pulled down by the words or actions of another.
But back to Connecticut, I don't understand why more people don't see this huge disconnect in our society.
I have two kids of my own. As of this post, they are 4 yrs old and 8 yrs old. They are not perfect children. On a good day, they might loosely resemble a perfect child. They are normal, healthy, happy kids. And they are used to disappointment. My kids do have things, but they don't have everything. When they ask for something, they get told "No." A lot. You don't need gadget XYZ, because you have ABC and you should be happy with that gadget you already have because there are kids who have nothing.
Yes, sometimes I sound like my generation's parents.
Both my kids happen to take Karate. They both could go to the tournaments and earn a participation medal for every event that they can participate in... But they don't. Why? Cause they have to earn the right to even GO to the tournament. I don't just say, hey let's go. I say, have you been behaved? Have you picked up your toys? Have you picked up your dirty laundry that you tossed on the floor 2 feet from the laundry basket you have in your room?
I don't have perfect kids, but I do have kids that have manners. They say please and thank you. They ask for things and don't demand them. They understand that when we're in a store and I say "No" it actually means "No."
Its about teaching our kids boundaries and right from wrong and how to deal with life. It is okay to teach your kids that being special to You as their parent. They should believe that you have their back and their best interests at heart. But it is not okay to teach your child that they are so special they should have a pedestal to stand on. Not everyone is going to be the fastest or the strongest or the best reader or the smartest in math or whatever it might be. Kids need to learn early that not everyone is good at everything and that is okay. Instead of getting a medal or trophy for everything they do, they should be spending their time having fun and learning about what THEY are good at and then focusing on that if they wish.
Kids should have to learn that there are winning teams and losing teams. And the losing teams should say "Congratulations" to the winner for coming out on top that day and then practice harder to do better next time. Winning teams should say "Good game!" to the losing team. And they shouldn't gloat and throw it in their faces. They played hard that day and it showed off.. and they should go back to practicing because someone else may come along who is better than they are.
Instead of good sportsmanship these days, we promote making it easy or not keeping score or whatever it takes to not make kids upset. But how are they ever going to grow into teenagers and into adults if they don't understand how life is? I understand wanting to shelter your kids, but how does that help them later in life? What is going to happen when they graduate college and expect that high paying job the moment they get out of school because that's what they were told would happen, and they don't get hired where they want. Maybe they don't get hired at all at first. Maybe that retail job at the mall is necessary so they can pay their bills while they try to get hired on at that dream job?
Wait, sorry.. We're teaching them to stay living at home as long as possible. We'll protect them from that first failure and they can keep living at home with their allowance til they get a job. And then they can probably stay at home, too.
I don't want my kids to leave. But I also understand that at some point, they need to spread their wings and fly. You can't soar if you don't fly.
Let's take this second article for that I stumbled on this morning.. 3 teenagers from PA (15, 15, and 16 yrs of age) decide to go shooting.. They decide its a good idea to shoot onto someone's property at a donkey that just so happens to be the family pet. They think it'll be a good choice to each shoot the donkey 6 times for fun.
What? There's so many breakdowns in this little article that my head spins. Where are the parents? If these boys were taught to shoot as boys, where was the part about instilling in them responsibility or preservation of life or about cruelty in general? This is not a gun issue. This is about parents choosing to teach their children something and not doing so in a responsible and thorough manner. Guns are not about sport in this manner. It is not supposed to be 3 kids who decide for fun to go shooting things that are living and breathing for no reason other than because they can. Hunting is one thing. This was not hunting.
What about the consequences and what could have happened.. They were shooting onto someone's property. What if they missed? What if they shot someone accidentally? What if they hurt someone? Guns are not toys or a pastime for irresponsibility. You want to go shooting? Have your parents take you somewhere safe, a range, the side of a hill, something.. Target practice.. They make targets that don't live and breath and belong to someone. They make these things out of paper, and you can hang it up and shoot at it all you want.
And why did they do this anyway? My guess is one of them will say, "We were bored.."
Parents, this answer is killing me. Maybe not the right choice of words here, but go with it. When have we stopped teaching our kids how to amuse themselves but in a good way. We now spend their childhood arranging all their activities and their play times and play dates and keeping them amused til exhaustion sets in (for us, not them.).
Kids need to learn how to make good and bad choices. They need to learn themselves, YOUNG, and make mistakes and be taught to learn from them before they start to grow up with raging teenage hormones and heads full of bad choices because they want to rebel against their overly-structured lives.
Don't get me wrong. I know kids are going to rebel. And even kids you think are good kids are going to make bad choices. I get that. Again, I do not have perfect kids.
But one thing we can be teaching them young is about Life - not just what we live, but living creatures and the Earth.
We can be teaching them about Property - property belongs to someone, it may not be yours but it does belong to someone. It is not okay to destroy it, wreck it, graffiti on it, knock it over, hit with anything, shoot at it, whatever.
We can teach them be caring people. Help other people. Think of other people, not just themselves.
Help the old guy across the street instead of making fun of him, calling him names or knocking him down. Help Grandma with some chores without being asked.
Offer to help the lady load or unload her groceries from the car.
At one time, this was the norm. In a struggle to be different from the generation before us and swearing off being anything like our parents, we are missing out in teaching our kids valuable life lessons that would help them in life when we're not there to guide them. No, our parents definitely didn't always do it right. Some of us know better than others on that one. But even the generation before them (many of whom are raising their grandchildren), valued life lessons and character over the number trophies that were cluttering the shelves and closets.
My confession for this post? I've been wanting to put all this into words for sometime, but just haven't. I don't want to tell people how to raise their kids... I just wish more people understood the long term effects of the choices we make.
That and in our family we also teach some other things. Our second language is Sarcasm. Our motto is if it isn't Broken, Bleeding, the person isn't dying, and the person isn't throwing up, you're tattling unless there's a point to what you're about to say. There's one meal made at dinner time. Its called Dinner. If you don't like it, make your own version of dinner. If you don't eat, no snacks. Going to bed hungry IS an option.
That's my disclaimer. And what a way to jump back into my blog!
I was reading the news this morning. It is something I do almost every day. I like to know current events and what is going on in the world outside my own little world. And more often than not, there is some horrible story of violence or death or something that is just simply not okay. But when that story involves kids, it just brings on a whole new meaning and whole different kind of questioning.
Parents out there, WTH?
The first story this morning that I read is this article out of Connecticut. Apparently a boy asked a girl to prom. She said no. So boy stabs girl.
WHAT?
What have we been doing to our kids in today's society. In a world where kids all get trophies and everyone gets a prize, we are teaching our kids to always expect something. It is preventing our kids from learning about disappointment and how to deal with that.
What went through this boy's mind this morning? Could he really not take the disappointment of being rejected by a girl for prom? Even if this was extremely disappointing, what makes him suddenly think that if she won't go with him, he must stab her? I don't understand how the normal is becoming violence in our schools.
Remember when we just had to worry about Violence in the Workplace? Now, we have to worry about our kids going off the handle at school. Don't get me wrong, I'm not talking about bullying and the effects that it has on kids. I will say, that parents could be helping their children more by talking to them early about how to deal with bullies, about their self-worth and self-confidence and help build our children up properly so that they can't be pulled down by the words or actions of another.
But back to Connecticut, I don't understand why more people don't see this huge disconnect in our society.
I have two kids of my own. As of this post, they are 4 yrs old and 8 yrs old. They are not perfect children. On a good day, they might loosely resemble a perfect child. They are normal, healthy, happy kids. And they are used to disappointment. My kids do have things, but they don't have everything. When they ask for something, they get told "No." A lot. You don't need gadget XYZ, because you have ABC and you should be happy with that gadget you already have because there are kids who have nothing.
Yes, sometimes I sound like my generation's parents.
Both my kids happen to take Karate. They both could go to the tournaments and earn a participation medal for every event that they can participate in... But they don't. Why? Cause they have to earn the right to even GO to the tournament. I don't just say, hey let's go. I say, have you been behaved? Have you picked up your toys? Have you picked up your dirty laundry that you tossed on the floor 2 feet from the laundry basket you have in your room?
I don't have perfect kids, but I do have kids that have manners. They say please and thank you. They ask for things and don't demand them. They understand that when we're in a store and I say "No" it actually means "No."
Its about teaching our kids boundaries and right from wrong and how to deal with life. It is okay to teach your kids that being special to You as their parent. They should believe that you have their back and their best interests at heart. But it is not okay to teach your child that they are so special they should have a pedestal to stand on. Not everyone is going to be the fastest or the strongest or the best reader or the smartest in math or whatever it might be. Kids need to learn early that not everyone is good at everything and that is okay. Instead of getting a medal or trophy for everything they do, they should be spending their time having fun and learning about what THEY are good at and then focusing on that if they wish.
Kids should have to learn that there are winning teams and losing teams. And the losing teams should say "Congratulations" to the winner for coming out on top that day and then practice harder to do better next time. Winning teams should say "Good game!" to the losing team. And they shouldn't gloat and throw it in their faces. They played hard that day and it showed off.. and they should go back to practicing because someone else may come along who is better than they are.
Instead of good sportsmanship these days, we promote making it easy or not keeping score or whatever it takes to not make kids upset. But how are they ever going to grow into teenagers and into adults if they don't understand how life is? I understand wanting to shelter your kids, but how does that help them later in life? What is going to happen when they graduate college and expect that high paying job the moment they get out of school because that's what they were told would happen, and they don't get hired where they want. Maybe they don't get hired at all at first. Maybe that retail job at the mall is necessary so they can pay their bills while they try to get hired on at that dream job?
Wait, sorry.. We're teaching them to stay living at home as long as possible. We'll protect them from that first failure and they can keep living at home with their allowance til they get a job. And then they can probably stay at home, too.
I don't want my kids to leave. But I also understand that at some point, they need to spread their wings and fly. You can't soar if you don't fly.
Let's take this second article for that I stumbled on this morning.. 3 teenagers from PA (15, 15, and 16 yrs of age) decide to go shooting.. They decide its a good idea to shoot onto someone's property at a donkey that just so happens to be the family pet. They think it'll be a good choice to each shoot the donkey 6 times for fun.
What? There's so many breakdowns in this little article that my head spins. Where are the parents? If these boys were taught to shoot as boys, where was the part about instilling in them responsibility or preservation of life or about cruelty in general? This is not a gun issue. This is about parents choosing to teach their children something and not doing so in a responsible and thorough manner. Guns are not about sport in this manner. It is not supposed to be 3 kids who decide for fun to go shooting things that are living and breathing for no reason other than because they can. Hunting is one thing. This was not hunting.
What about the consequences and what could have happened.. They were shooting onto someone's property. What if they missed? What if they shot someone accidentally? What if they hurt someone? Guns are not toys or a pastime for irresponsibility. You want to go shooting? Have your parents take you somewhere safe, a range, the side of a hill, something.. Target practice.. They make targets that don't live and breath and belong to someone. They make these things out of paper, and you can hang it up and shoot at it all you want.
And why did they do this anyway? My guess is one of them will say, "We were bored.."
Parents, this answer is killing me. Maybe not the right choice of words here, but go with it. When have we stopped teaching our kids how to amuse themselves but in a good way. We now spend their childhood arranging all their activities and their play times and play dates and keeping them amused til exhaustion sets in (for us, not them.).
Kids need to learn how to make good and bad choices. They need to learn themselves, YOUNG, and make mistakes and be taught to learn from them before they start to grow up with raging teenage hormones and heads full of bad choices because they want to rebel against their overly-structured lives.
Don't get me wrong. I know kids are going to rebel. And even kids you think are good kids are going to make bad choices. I get that. Again, I do not have perfect kids.
But one thing we can be teaching them young is about Life - not just what we live, but living creatures and the Earth.
We can be teaching them about Property - property belongs to someone, it may not be yours but it does belong to someone. It is not okay to destroy it, wreck it, graffiti on it, knock it over, hit with anything, shoot at it, whatever.
We can teach them be caring people. Help other people. Think of other people, not just themselves.
Help the old guy across the street instead of making fun of him, calling him names or knocking him down. Help Grandma with some chores without being asked.
Offer to help the lady load or unload her groceries from the car.
At one time, this was the norm. In a struggle to be different from the generation before us and swearing off being anything like our parents, we are missing out in teaching our kids valuable life lessons that would help them in life when we're not there to guide them. No, our parents definitely didn't always do it right. Some of us know better than others on that one. But even the generation before them (many of whom are raising their grandchildren), valued life lessons and character over the number trophies that were cluttering the shelves and closets.
My confession for this post? I've been wanting to put all this into words for sometime, but just haven't. I don't want to tell people how to raise their kids... I just wish more people understood the long term effects of the choices we make.
That and in our family we also teach some other things. Our second language is Sarcasm. Our motto is if it isn't Broken, Bleeding, the person isn't dying, and the person isn't throwing up, you're tattling unless there's a point to what you're about to say. There's one meal made at dinner time. Its called Dinner. If you don't like it, make your own version of dinner. If you don't eat, no snacks. Going to bed hungry IS an option.
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