Assertiveness and handling situations

Today was our final formal discussion on assertiveness . We went over the exercise that I did on who I am/am not assertive with, why, and how it makes me feel. Oh, and what I want out of it.

It's an interesting topic for me because I'm able to speak my mind or opinions most of the time. But around certain  types of people, I allow myself to be put in a backseat and let others control my circumstances. 

When faced with those types of situations, I become indecisive and passive. A lot of it stems from how I was conditioned growing up. 

Today though, I am told I'm doing well, considering. I have my sense of humor intact. I know what it is I want for my life, I just have to take action and retake control of my path. 

The homework for this week is to write a list of changes I would like to happen...big or little, important or insignificant. It's an interesting thought. She says it will be part of an exorcise. 

Until next time...

Saisri 

Assertiveness: doesn't work the same for everyone

Sorry I'm posting this late...lost track of time. And there may have been some Heroes being played. 

Today's session was a catch up from my vacation, and finally our topic -being assertive. 

Assertiveness is about speaking your mind, sharing your feelings and thoughts, and sticking up for yourself. 

Its opposite is Passive. Agreeing just to keep the peace even when it isn't what you think or really feel, or not sticking up for yourself when you need to, saying yes/no and meaning the opposite, or even just letting others make your choices for you. 

Some of you may be surprised to know that I have issues being assertive. But thing is, it's situational. I'm usually vocal about what I think or feel. I generally don't let people walk all over me or take away my voice. 

Sometimes though, you find yourself in situations or with specific people and you immediately become passive. 

I'll share this part to maybe better explain. 

Growing up in my family was no easy task. My mother was very dominant and controlling towards me. Even as an adult I would immediately feel like I was a kid under her thumb when talking to her, even over a phone line from 2500 miles away. 

When I became an adult, I did what many of us do, and swore to never be like her. 

What that did was to become very passive with some people close to me, but I was able to hold onto some semblance of myself when outside those situations. 

Anyway, my point with all this is that you don't have to feel like something is wrong allowed the time in order to reach out for help. Sometimes we need guidance on how to handle certain situations but not all. 

Think about it. 

I'll have more on this next week after we finish talking about assertiveness next week.