It takes a lot to get me riled up over something. I am not quick to anger or easy to jump to conclusions. I weigh facts, use personal experience and make the most educated decision as possible.
This past week was decidedly marked with problems. Some were those of a friend, some were my own.
Those of my friend were broadcast for the world to see. Open to anyone who wished to view them and make an opinion. Available for anyone to weigh in. Weigh in, I did. There are a lot of times when bad things happen to good people. Our society doesn't have an answer for every type of scenario, and it is often left for a grouping of things to be lumped together and treated the same. After reading what he had to say and wholeheartedly believing him, I felt this friend was in need of seeing that he still had friends on his side. I did take to twitter, and tried to share my opinion as eloquently as I could. There were a lot of people who agreed with me, and I was happy to see it.
There were a few who were a little surprised at how quickly I came to bat for this friend and how strongly my opinion came across.
What can I say? I'm a passionate person.
Confession - I'm downright a lion at heart when it comes to defending friends and family.
I'm usually a closed up person. I have a ton of walls and twice as many layers. I let people get close to me, but I don't normally strip back all the layers and let people in completely. My fellow FERT raiders are family to me. I've had the pleasure of meeting and becoming good friends with several of them here in the real life. ;)
My team gets to see a part of me that most people don't. I am relaxed. I have fun. I rarely hold back and I get to be my actual self. It's a fantastic feeling. Everyone should have that luxury. The ones that know me in person get to see even more.
It isn't that I try to keep people out or that I try to hide behind these walls, but it is hard for me to let people in. But once you take the time to work through those layers, what you find is the most loyal of friends. Not afraid of a fight. Not willing to back down in defense of a friend. The kind of friend who sticks by you no matter what.
So it surprised some when I took a strong stance. And I stand by that stance and that decision. I made the right decision as far as I'm concerned. I think even my friend might have been a little surprised. Haha
One other side effect that came out of all of this, was the lowering of a few more layers around my friends. They (whether they wanted to or not) got to see a bit more of the side of me that I usually keep very private. While I still won't discuss it all in a blog, there were emotions and stress and such that were shared and part of me is sorry. Part of me is happy that I have friends to be able to share these things with.
I've known the majority of my team for about a year now. There are friends who have known me for 10 that have only gotten a bit more of the story that the FERTers did.
I guess there are a couple of points to all these ramblings.
Everyone has a deep, dark closet. Some people have bigger skeletons, some people have smaller ones. Some people only have one, some people have many.
Everyone has a past. The present and the future are what should matter. Hindsight is 20/20. It's easy to say what should have or could have happened after the fact. Our past doesn't decide who we are, but how we learn and grow from our past does.
When you are talking about a person, whether you know them in person or not, be respectful. Pixels or flesh, we are all real people with real thoughts, opinions and feelings. Treat people how you want to be treated.
And just because some people can be quiet.. maybe they don't talk to you directly a lot.. maybe they don't often weigh in on your question or thought or comment.. It doesn't mean that they don't consider you their friend. Sometimes it's just easier to open up to some people than others.
Maybe more people should open up a conversation with, "Hello, friend(s)!"
